I wanna fistbump the ‘offenders’

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20 points

He thinks they were put there by a concerned citizen frustrated by the bad driving habits of their fellow, uh, Bouldarians(?). No, Google says people from Boulder are called “Boulderites.” I don’t like that. Bouldarians is better.

Suddenly, the article’s author, with a steel chair! I guess, rereading, the whole article’s pretty casual, but I just wasn’t expecting the first person pov.

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26 points

They are boulderites when they grow from the top down and bouldarians when they grow from the bottom up

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5 points

What about when they grow from the middle out? We are Americans after all.

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7 points

Boulderites are like top 10 in the nation in fitness. That’s where Olympic athletes go to train, because of the low air density. Boulderites aren’t typical Americans. Source: grew up in boulder and live in a Midwest hellscape.

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2 points

It’s like a large Boulderites about the size of small Bouldarians.

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