I have always struggled with self-esteem, especially when it comes to RSD. To cope, I’ve found that repeating certain positive affirmations like “I can do anything,” “I’m awesome,” etc. helps me feel more confident in myself. It’s not about being arrogant, but more like a mental trick to push through my insecurities and feel better in the moment.
The thing is, some people around me are starting to accuse me of being a narcissist because of it. I’ll admit, part of me does enjoy the attention that comes with these affirmations, and for a while, I just leaned into it. But now it feels like it’s spiraling a bit out of control. I’m wondering if I’ve crossed some line between self-empowerment and self-centeredness.
I don’t want to seem arrogant or like I’m trying to manipulate anyone, but I really don’t know how else to keep my confidence up. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you manage the fine line between boosting your self-esteem and coming off as narcissistic, especially when dealing with ADHD or autism?
Oh yeah, I do that too! I’ve been doing it as a conscious effort towards a positive self-talk, like when people tell me I look good or something I reply “I know, thanks” instead of the usual knee-jerk reaction of completely disregarding them and possibly even denying it verbally, for about three-four years now, essentially as a “fake it till you make it” kind of an attitude towards self-confidence. And I too have been struggling with this, the thought of “am I being narcissistic?” when I dare feel anything but burning hatred towards myself and my own well-being. Herein lies a distinction, the important difference between 1) having narcissistic traits (which, like it or not, everyone - including you, because you aren’t that special to be completely devoid of them - has) and 2) having these traits in so much of an excess that it could and would be diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder (which is rare, like 1% of population can be diagnosed).
I trust the sentiment that /u/Clent (btw does Lemmy work like this?) below said, that “No narcissist has ever asked themselves if they are being narcissistic”. People who suffer from this personality disorder don’t work like that. Also judging by what you bring forward here I really wouldn’t worry about it; usually people who call other people “narcissistic” when said person is acting “selfishly” (with a stark contrast to the complete anti-self acting previously exhibited) don’t know what they are talking about.
But of course it is good to look in a mirror every once and a while, especially regarding how you act towards other people. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which is in the same cluster of personality disorders as narcissistic and also anti-social personality disorders, and I can recognize in myself the tendency to act without judgement towards my own actions. Beforehand, that is, hindsight is always 20/20 though. But usually these actions tell me that I am in dire distress, and need help urgently. Your mileage may vary.
when people tell me I look good or something I reply “I know, thanks” instead of the usual knee-jerk reaction of completely disregarding them and possibly even denying it verbally
Personally, I’d just thank them without denying, but also not stating that “I know” because it kinda feels like saying “I know that already, why’d you even mention it”.
As for mentioning others, I think it works by writing @<username>@<userinstance>, e.g. @narr1@lemmy.autism.place
feels like saying “I know that already, why’d you even mention it”.
Yeah, it can sound like that. But then again, I live in a tiny, sad excuse for a city in rural Finland, and in my small circles I’m known for dressing “up” or just dressing well. I have a certain sense of style, and I know what clothes fit me and look good on me. It’s actually something I’ve worked on for a long time, and I’m quite proud of my ability to do so. So it ties to that, see? What I was trying to bring across was maybe that one shouldn’t be ashamed of things one has achieved, but the context was obviously lacking.
