I had a similar experience.
- Most of my friends were generally similar: straight-shooters, into science, and unique.
- I had a friend whose kid I related to so much, that eventho I am generally pretty bad with kids, they used to ask me for advice on how to address certain issues with him.
- When I was at a farmer’s market, I saw some toys that looked interesting. I asked the salesperson what they were for, and she responded saying that they were for autistic kids because it helps them calm down. I seriously said, “Man, those autistic kids know what’s up.” I bought two of the toys. One was for the kid mentioned above, and the other was for me.
A year later, a friend that is a psychologist tells me that I’m autistic. I get a formal evaluation just to make sure, and yep, I’m certainly autistic. For the next year, all these odd experiences in my life start to make sense:
- I tell my friends and they said that they are autistic too and thought I knew because it was so obvious.
- I learn that flappy hands is an autism thing. The kid mentioned flapped his hands whenever he would get excited. They weren’t necessarily asking me how to raise their kid. They were asking me for advice with autistic traits and issues.
- They toy was a fidget toy, and I bought one for myself because it was soothing… because I am autistic and adhd.
Wtf. Why would anyone care that a kid flaps his hands? To me, it’s so cute and endearing. They are visually communicating how happy and excited they are. It hurts no one, only spreads joy. Sorry you went through that 😕
Because some people interpret it as flamboyantly queer when a male does it.
It only led to me masking it, I wouldn’t really say it was traumatising. And it’s probably for the best that I cut out the habit 🤣
However, that’s not where my frustrations lie. My mother contacted my primary school and asked them about it and if I did it during the day or just with my mum around, etc. My mum obviously isn’t an expert in Child psychology, however the school should have probably seen it as a tell-tale sign of autism. Instead they just told me off for doing it. Ironically it became a joke among my friends who just thought “That’s just flax being flax”.
Years later I have finished compulsory education and I am seeing a psychiatric nurse, he just mentions “oh and just to make sure, you have autism by the way?” and it was the first I heard of it. He told me that he had just assumed that I had it. Was put on a several year long waiting list and finally got diagnosed.
Also turns out several family members thought I had it, one who was studying to be a teacher, but my mum just ignored their opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (not to rip on her or anything, she just wasn’t as well educated on it, had just assumed all people with autism were low functioning)