I know this is kind of an oddball question, and every community is rightfully going to be different.
Does anyone know of any chill, laid back survival experiences that are relatively safe/accepting for queer types?
Sorry for my somewhat unrelated comment (I unfortunately do not know of any explicitly safe servers :( ), but if anyone’s interested in making a server, consider using the following mod which adds pronoun tags to players. I was disappointed to see that no server that I tried was using it (or perhaps it just wasn’t advertised or presented in a GUI interface). (I haven’t tested it myself, but it seems like a feature every server should have)
https://content.luanti.org/packages/prestidigitator/pronouns/