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67 points

What does this mean for my horoscope?

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83 points

Mostly that it’s still nonsense.

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42 points

Spoken like a Capricorn

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23 points

We Capricorns are naturally skeptical of horoscopes.

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9 points

Spitting hard facts here

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6 points

Your penis will shrink

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5 points

It means everyone is probably getting sick around here and having bad days because Mercury is in retrograde. At least, that’s what my co-worker once said in front of like fifteen people.

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4 points

I’ve heard stupider believe it or not. Once some co-workers and I went outside to see the ISS pass overhead and one of them said “can they see the Earth from up there?”

I forgot to mention- this woman was the chief news anchor for the local evening TV news.

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2 points

I think Mercury’s been in retrograde for a really long time, can we ask the astrologers to fix it so the world can go back to being sane?

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