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10 points

Eat fruits, the plants give those to you specifically to eat.

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4 points
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In the same way that cultists give human sacrifices to Cthulhu specifically to eat.

I’m pretty sure the fruits are screaming too.

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2 points

I’m screaming, and the things consuming me can’t.

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11 points
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The whole deal is that we get to eat the fruit, and in return we provide the seeds within with a nice nitrogen-rich deposition nice and far from the parent plant.

It’s not a death cult, it’s a sex cult. The fruits might be screaming, but not in pain

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1 point

They yearn for your colon

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1 point
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And the deal with Cthulhu is that he gets to devour whoever you’ve sacrificed, and in return he provides a benefit to the survivors: allowing them to live long enough to provide more sacrifices. It’s basically the same deal.

Also, if anyone reading this happens to be a seed on a fruit meant to be devoured by humans then I have bad news about your final destination: it’s rather a stinky place that is not in any way conducive to your growth. The cake is a lie.

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2024-11-11

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