The only good old times were those before mankind started to mess up the entire planet.
Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place, and some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no-one should ever have left the oceans.
Cutting down the trees was out next biggest mistake. For example, the Europeans who colonized the US cut down 93% of the trees they found. They clear cut forests of giant oaks and blackwalnut trees. And we replaced all of that natural beauty with asphalt and endless urban sprawl.
Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.
But we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying on ship’s peanut.
So in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and…er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.
Mankind’s been screwing things up since the start.
The Sahara Desert used to be verdant