I’ve had people openly admit they think it’s just and good that I’ll go to hell for being queer. And the majority of my family follows the same doctrine, so… I don’t think I even know how I feel about it tbh.
Oh, god, had my fair share of familial religious zealotry and it was bad enough when they didn’t see me as entirely anathema to everything they’d been brainwashed into believing…
I’m so very sorry you can’t find shelter with the people who were supposed to protect and love you with everything in their power, the feeling of alienation from one’s own family is loneliness like no other… I hope with all my heart that you’ve managed or will manage to find people who love you exactly as you are, people who bring you peace.