( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(mander.xyz)

Dude, I don’t mean to boast, but honestly, I think my dick is just WAY too big. Like, I would DESTROY that grape instantly if I tried. It’s not just a trick of the camera angle, it just is that big. Honestly, I don’t even need to get out a measuring tape to tell you that even with a massive grape, it’s just not going to fit.

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Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world

2 points

19 days ago

You’re not being creative enough. You could have a bowl/cup of grapes, and use that. Or maybe alternatively you could blend/mash them up, let them dry out a bit to stiffen up, then use that.

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davidagain@lemmy.world

2 points

18 days ago

I find that when you sign up for lemmy, you very much underestimate the extent to which the community is going to be invested in you sticking your dick in grape.

It’s not a complaint, really, and it feels supportive, in a way, but it’s definitely not what I was expecting. I mean, the whole area of soft fruit isn’t really a theme I was considering exploring in any kind of sexual way, if you can appreciate where I’m coming from.

I take your point about the possibility but I’m still drawing a bit of a blank in the motivation department, if I’m honest.

The comment about grape seeds isn’t making making me any more enthusiastic, I can tell you. No offence meant.

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Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world

2 points

18 days ago

Yeah, this place is a very

Grape fucking
Endless politics
Meta memes/drama/shitposting

pick two kind of place

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blackbrook@mander.xyz

2 points

19 days ago

nothing worse than getting a grape seed stuck in your peehole…

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davidagain@lemmy.world

1 point

18 days ago

Sounds painful. Like gallstones, but backwards. On the plus side, probably less scratchy. On the minus side, maybe more citric acid.

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blackbrook@mander.xyz

1 point

18 days ago

Nah, mainly tartaric acid…

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davidagain@lemmy.world

1 point

18 days ago

Ah, thank you. I wasn’t sure. However, I am sure that I don’t want it going the wrong way up my personals.

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Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee

7 points

19 days ago

C’mon David. They want you to. Do it for them, buddy.

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davidagain@lemmy.world

4 points

19 days ago

The grapes? I can never tell when a grape wants some action. My whole life, I’ve missed every single signal. Well, that, or the grapes just don’t find me attractive, like, EVER.

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Ace! _SL/S@ani.social

6 points

19 days ago

Not with that attitude

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