Same. Lost a very good friend because I was too slow to change, lost my family because I did.

Fellow former conservative christian here, and I share that pain. I eventually came around thanks to a LOT of patience from friends who understood my background.

I try to pay it forward by putting myself out there and extending a hand to anyone looking to understand and accept others. I have had decent success with anyone who asks in good faith.

I recently saw a shirt for sale online that says, “I’m sorry for everything I said when I was evangelical,” and that really just about sums it up.

Don’t beat yourself up. Seriously.

I was able to break free early partly due to how absurd the hypocrisy became. My mother was going to hell, not because she’s a cold narcissist, but a Jew and a ‘practitioner’ of new age bullshit. And my father saw nothing at all wrong with this type of belief.

Not to mention he was pretty racist (though in a ‘subtle’ way), while helping raise my adopted Korean sister.

I was lucky that he and my mother were such atrociously bad examples of how to deal with others, that I vowed to never be like them.

I didn’t figure my way out until I was in my 30s. Been out of it for over a decade.

I was brainwashed, my head was full of carefully crafted indoctrination. My extended family will almost certainly never be free of it.

We were subjected to an evil process from an early age. It’s not our fault. Losing the hate and guilt is also a process. Go easy on yourself. Takes a tough person to change their entire worldview. Only a few of us make it out.