Here you go:

                   -`
                  .o+`                 user@intel4004
                 `ooo/                 ----------------
                `+oooo:                OS: Arch Linux BCD oriented
               `+oooooo:               Host: Intel 4004 @ 740 KHz
               -+oooooo+:              Kernel: 0.0.1-custom
             `/:-:++oooo+:             Uptime: 3 hours, 12 mins
            `/++++/+++++++:            Packages: 3 (pacman)
           `/++++++++++++++:           Shell: sh 0.5
          `/+++ooooooooooooo/`         CPU: Intel 4004 (4-bit) @ 740 KHz
         ./ooosssso++osssssso+`        Memory: 0.64 KB / 8 KB
        .oossssso-````/ossssss+`       Storage: None (Using Paper Tape)
       -osssssso.      :ssssssso.      GPU: None (Terminal Only)
      :osssssss/        osssso+++.     Display: None (TTY Only)
     /ossssssss/        +ssssooo/-     Network: None (Hand-delivered punch cards)
   `/ossssso+/:-        -:/+osssso+`
  `+sso+:-`                 `.-/+oso:
 `++:.                           `-/+/
 .`                                 `/

Better go with fastfetch, it might save you a couple days’ runtime.