I recently learned that a dear friend has an aggressive form of cancer. She is starting treatment soon. I don’t know much about what dealing with cancer is like, so I thought I’d ask for people’s experience here.

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I’m currently in treatment for Hodgin Lymphoma. An old friend that I rarely see volunteered to take me to chemo every two weeks for six months. We have really good visits while I’m in the chair. Last week I got out my tablet and showed him my farm in Minecraft. I don’t like being asked how I’m doing or how I’m feeling because literally everyone asks and I get tired of answering. I prefer, “Do you need anything?” or “Can I help in any way?” I’m not good at asking for help. A friend who I have helped several times just showed up with her partner and four kids and their partners and got our place ready for fall. One of the kids partners was a plumber and he installed a couple of sinks for us. We have a bunch of people around us who have offered to help and meant it. One got up early and drove my son and his bike to school two days after chemo. Another has done groceries for us and taken my wife grocery shopping because she doesn’t drive. If you offer to help mean it and do anything you can to help. Otherwise, just be there and do things other than talk about cancer. Normalcy is welcome. If she wants to talk, talk. If she just wants you to be there, be there.

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