BOCA RATON, Fla. — Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro called for a boycott of Zoltar machines after his wish to become “big” went unfulfilled for the 4,000th day straight, confirmed sources who learned about this news against their will.
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I take any Onion article as truth until proven otherwise. So far it’s worked. Speaking of which, I recommend the article “‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens”. Seems to be a regularly featured topic.