(Assuming such technology could be viable and not, you know, horrifying like it sounds it would be…)

[Headlines ten years after the invention of the robot “wife”]

WHY ARE GENERATION ALPHA WOMEN KILLING TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE?!

and

GEN ALPHA WOMEN SAY THEY ARE HAPPILY SINGLE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM??!

and

DEATHS FROM LONELINESS AMONG GEN ALPHA MEN ARE WAY UP: WHAT’S GOING ON?!