Thereāre better words to use in any situation.
To make the point more clear. As much as people tend to use it in the way they do for words such as ālikeā.
I mean people will just say f you, instead of thinking of a witty insult or express an emotion with more expression.
For example, say you want to express that a person is fat, which one is a more cutting way to tell someone theyāre fat:
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āYouāre a fat-f**k.ā
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āDonāt bother trying to stand up. I know you havenāt done that in years.ā
One more thing, As much as there is a time and place you donāt curse, itās not a matter of āappropriatenessā to me; what matters more is the impact of whatās said. I hope my example showcases that.
One last thing, - cause I just starting to realise this matter more to people than I thought it would (nothing wrong with that of course) - cursing doesnāt necessarily subtract from a remark as if itās a negative number in a math problem, itās just redundant for speaking (more often than not).
SouthsamuraiĀ©sh.itjust.works gives a good example of cursing is bland as apposed to just using your brain.
Someone saying āIām tired of this fucking rainā is more boring than someone saying āI really wish thor would give us a warning before bukkakeing the worldā.
I just realise this will work as a post in a unpopular opinion space if that exist, lol.
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why is letting off steam indicative of a weak character? I think that when under stress, itās actually indicative of someone being emotionally intelligent to recognize they need to let some stress out and find an avenue for it. I canāt explain exactly why, but swearing has always been a pretty effective way for me to let out some stress mid conversation while staying focused on a problem.
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some contexts call for aggression. i.e. If someoneās making me or someone I care about uncomfortable in public, it can be pretty useful to bare my teeth back. A simple āfuck offā doesnāt require me to engage with any of their bullshit at all, gets the point across, and carries it with a mild aggression that actually does make people fuck off much of the time.
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it is imprecise, but in many contexts itās precise enough to convey displeasure and dismay enough to get the point across. In fact the power of āfuck youā is in how concise yet universally applicable and understandable in so many situations.
For the first point, I fail to see how cursing dosenāt show your anger, if itās going to be used to blow off steam. People have curse absent-mindedly when angry, Iād know, Iāve done it before. What good is this emotional intelligence if itās going to give you the same results as if a person without it when in conversation?
The thinking of cursing being the method to use (with the understanding that weāre thinking of affective methods - not just punch someone in the face) doesnāt sit right. I understand getting angry (we all been there), however, youāll be surprise in the power of taking a couple seconds to think it through.
When you think you have to say the thing that pops into your head right away, it ends up being ineffctive for commucation & wonāt let others see the emotional intelligence that youāve.
I know this seems to be a meme, but meditation & being mindful of your surroundings has help me ālet out steam.ā I also work on improving myself, when you try to remove curse words, you can find where you feel you need to say it and thus work on methods to help with that. When I think of emotional intelligence, I think of understanding the emotions youāve & not letting them control your actions (think stoiticism).
For the second point, this only works when you can leave the situation and not have to worry about the consequences; itās not going to work with cops, itās also not going to work well for family (Iād know, having my christain grandma say f-you to me isnāt fun); I, in fact, find it hard to think of consequence-free moments for it.
For the third point, I see that depending on context, itāll work, then it should work for wit, no? I fail to find the difference between wit and swearing for communication outside of it being easier to curse. If the point is cursing is faster & easier, then youāve a point, but Iām thinking you meant something else or something more. Even for expressing anger, I find the clam looking anger to be more emotionally intelligent than throwing out a curse word that even a child can do when having a meltdown.
Ultimately, weāre discussing two different styles of communication that I donāt see as any better or worse than each other - everyone finds what works for them in their circumstances and environment and your style probably works great for yours!
Thereās a fair bit of hostility and harassment I encounter in public for various reasons, and I also have some inherent difficulty processing speech and verbalizing. As a result, I take a pretty blunt approach to communication - one in which I do not mind showing that Iām angry, because that is a necessary thing to be sometimes.
I practice mindfulness a lot and do not generally feel required to say the first thing that comes to mind. But if a drunk asshole is following me home, Iām not looking to outwit em. Iām looking to stay focused on my safety while letting em know that I see em and Iām probably more trouble than theyāre looking for.
In serious conversation with people I care about, I do swear, but itās because phrases like āIām so fucking sorry that happened to youā come naturally to me and are effective. The emphasis that a little bit of swearing can add in moments like that is pretty useful.
This all doesnāt have to be your thing, like I said this is all down to personal preference - but it would be a mistake to assume that people who swear arenāt communicating as meaningfully. Itās just another tool that we have at our disposal.
Sorry to hear about the speech problem; and I can relate to the hostility problem (Itās why I try to understand others rather than freak-out and get nasty, although Iām not perfect at it).
Unironically, the reason I donāt curse is because it helps me speak better and focus on the emotions (that Iāve) that arenāt so clear to me. Cursing - from my point of view - can get in the way of understanding and engagment of speech & emotions.
As for picking one or the other, let me try to put the shower thought in one sentence, since I seem to have lost the original point, somewhere in having these coversations:
Cursing is uncreative & tends to be use as filler words.
Maybe itās too obvious to people that they assumed more than needed (the - āthereās always something better to say,ā probably didnāt help, Iāll admit that.)
I genuinely thought it was intersting idea, since Iāve used them as filler words & I heard others do it too.
I noticing trends with the post, and - while responding - starting to see the can of worms Iāve opened up; I really thought this post would get something around 3 votes and 1 comment.
I understand and relate to most of speech ( and in art in general ) can boil down to personal preferences.
Speech to me can be a little bit more than that, but Iāll rest my case here.
