Welcome to the Aperture Science AI Welfare Debate Week! [confetti]

Are you a self-proclaimed smart person? Do you need to share your shower – [sarcastically] thoughts – with the world? Do you struggle to make friends with other non-robotic entities? Our facilities are an ideal place for an – [pause] exceptional – member of society as yourself.

In our open and legally nonliable environment you will be able to discuss and share all of your ideas, fears, delusions, and otherwise intrusive thoughts with a wide range of AI cores, objects, turrets, failed experiments, and/or garbage compactors. Here you can freely throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. (Please do not actually throw spaghetti at our walls. The portal-conductive surfaces emit deadly neurotoxin when in contact with tomato sauce. I always wondered who designed them that way. Oh well.).