Turns out the status quo of Linux memory management somehow works pretty damn okay, nobody seems to really know why, and nobody cares.
I feel this. Fell into a similar rabbit hole when I tried to get realtime feedback on the program’s own memory usage, discerning stuff like reserved and actually used virtual memory. Felt like black magic and was ultimately not doable within the expected time constraints without touching the kernel I suppose. Spent too much time on that and had to move on with no other solution than to measure/compute the allocated memory of the largest payload data types.