1. Fitted sheet must have label on bottom right seam
  2. Salted butter wrapping text must be red. Unsalted blue.
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26 points

WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU LEAF-BLOWING AT 8AM ON A SATURDAY

These people are usually the sorts who rise at 5am regardless of day and have become bored after 3 hours awake. If they think about it at all, they believe that everyone who is not yet up by 8am is a fool who ought to be out of bed, thus that is the perfect time to make noise.

As to why they rise at 5am, take your pick from: i) Old and unable to sleep for long periods - Will be asleep again in an armchair by 11am once they’ve gone back inside; ii) Military bearing or wannabe - Probably has reveille.wav for an alarm; iii) Abject a-hole who gets a kick out of it. Honourable mention: iv) someone with no choice under direction from one of the above.

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5 points
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I’m guilty of 8am yardwork, but mostly mowing in the hottest part of summer at the coolest part of the day. I’m also guilty of 8pm yardwork when it’s just the only time I can find to get it done. I only mow once every 2-4 weeks depending on how much my grass has grown, so I figure that balances it out somewhat

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15 points

You forgot v) collaborates internationally for work, requiring them to be awake early to maximize overlapping hours in their workday.

But even I know not to do noisy shit outside until at least 10. Those few quiet hours in the morning where it seems I’m the only person alive are to drink coffee and cherish.

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8 points

you also forgot people who work in factories that have to get up at 4:00 a.m. during the week and so they like to sleep in till 5:00 a.m. on the weekends.

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1 point

Small bladder, but I still refrain from impacting others.

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