Will anyone actually buy this argument?

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Early termination fees are not that horrible. They can give you a monthly cost where some of the costs for installing it might be distributed over they contact period. Fine and ok

But i should still be able to cancel my contract without jumping through 11 loops and queues.

If you sign up for a given contract, that’s what you have agreed upon. It sucks if you only have one option and they can set a ridiculous price. So if you want to regulate pricing, that’s a different matter. Cancelling is something else altogether.

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If you sign up for a given contract

Listen, it says clear as day down here in the fine print that I get a pound of flesh closest to your heart. I don’t see what you’re complaining about, a contract is a contract.

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