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41 points

It’s too late for this guy. He didn’t declare a fee schedule and jiggle his left foot 8 times at the time the tickets were issued.

Don’t be like him. Contact me before any interaction with state tyrants for only $750/hr and I will teach you everything you need to know. You can be reimbursed from your straw man account that is held by the government so there’s no need to worry about the costs. Just go to my website where I sell dog bandanas with WWII insignias and click on the “Contact The Real Person” link.

By reading this you agree to the fee schedule posted on my website. Anyone violating this will be held accountable in a court without a gold-fringed flag. I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. that is all. Furthermore…

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4 points

This is a masterpiece.

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15 points

Impressive, but legally I didn’t actually read your comment.

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6 points

By not reading his comment, you have agreed to…ah, fuck it, I’m too tired.

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