Starbucks says Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks’ head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet

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132 points

Go there every day and ask for a water. It’s free, but you’re costing them a tiny amount each time.

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126 points

Oh I was gonna recommend arson. Maybe your plan is better

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15 points

Your plan is certainly quicker, which is an upside.

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93 points

Well you gotta use up all their water first

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11 points

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22 points

Free water, arson, bricks, and bullhorns. With these four powers combined, I am… Captain Protest!

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8 points

Insurance will cover it, so you’re just hurting everyone else who has to pay for insurance.

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8 points

Use the bathroom and flush four times!

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19 points

Also grab something on the way out and don’t pay for it.

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