me visually: morning meeting poker face, unfireably cheerful when called on
me internally: dear fuck,
I have long written those sort of internal business emails by first writing the “RIGHT THEN YOU FUCKER,” version then euphemising it
Shout out to my senior teammate at Microsoft who sanitised my comments for external consumption.
We’d have a group chat with some folks from another team, they’d say something stupid, so I’d private message my teammate “jesus fucking christ what the fuck are they talking about I swear to god those fuckers don’t read any docs we send them I’m going to print them out and staple them to their bloody foreheads” and he’d laugh and then post “Hey, thanks for your comments, we discussed this previously here [attachment], but we can go over it again on our Wednesday meeting, cheers”.
I swear he was the only reason I wasn’t fired and forcefully escorted out of that building.
sometimes I even have to write/edit these outside of mail client, just in case