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18 points

I can’t think of anything that would get them to end the policy faster than the manager having to deal with someone dragging a corpse in there.

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8 points

Or bring with you an urn, wether the victim is dead or not.

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7 points

It was grandpa’s final wish to terminate this gym membership. He also wanted his ashes spread in the sauna.

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3 points

“I will magnanimously cancel your pop pop membership and I’m happy to enroll your dog and you for our ash scattering program. The first hour is free and you can cancel anytime you want after only 45 years, even if Floofy dies, you can keep his membership as a souvenir. You’re welcome 🤗!”

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