Begs the question what’s the point in all of this? In 20 or so years of using Linux (usually maintaining multiple systems at once) I’ve had a kernel panic maybe about 4 times for different reasons, and on those occasions the console debug info was fine. I don’t really understand the excitement around making error messages look more like Windows. It can’t be around being more newbie friendly since if you’re having kernel panics you probably need to be an expert or have expert advice anyway.

even on a less well-maintained system it’s probably not going to be the kernel having a freakout, the kernel is going to be just fine while something else shits itself (probably graphics drivers on a desktop tbh, my vega 10 loves to vomit onto the screen and pass out)

Linux is monolithic so it breaks when a kernel module fails. It can sometimes recover but sometimes the system is in such a bad state a panic is triggered to protect against further issues.