That’s right motherfucker, I’m responding

Look, I would have preferred actual articles and not videos, but videos are better than nothing - so, fuck it, I guess I have nothing better than to watch them and respond. (I will not be combing through the entire channel links, that’s no different than linking an entire newspaper and demanding I read every article, you intellectually dishonest asshat) (no, that wasn’t unwarranted, you know what you did)

Let’s start with the first video, from “Arise News” - a random Youtube channel. The unnamed host, in front of a poorly edited green screen, starts the segment off by informing us that the Niger military had no choice but to depose the democratically elected president in Niger to protect its democracy. Again, I would have expected a statement as to why the democratically elected president is not to be trusted - anything, really, relating to the election process, but that does not happen; instead, two sentences are uttered before our first guest is ushered on screen - a member of the “Anti-Terrorism Accredidation Board”, a random West Virginian “organization” (air-quotes intentional) with a fucking random website-builder site (see it yourself: https://atabinfo.com/ ), who seem to have given themselves a name in order to train hapless Africans in “security and defense” - David Otto. It is not possible to find information relating to these people, as they are random individuals making up titles to sound legitimate. But, seriously @monobot, thank you for the fucking sources. (Derin’s note: I got the guy’s Linkedin, will be mentioned again below)

The host and his random guest start talking about a “coup pandemic” (great choice of words). The guest seems to struggle with the English language as they force out a slurry of words relating to the coup, and why the military “had” to implement it. I say “had” in air quotes as no reason or rationale is provided, beyond a broken word salad of serious-sounding words, reminiscent of Nigerian e-mail scams. I don’t want to be called out as someone who didn’t follow up on your sources, so here’s the word salad transcribed verbatim:

Bullshit_african_word_salad_fuck_you_goddamn_tankies.txt:

PRIME TIME

Now the West African regional BLOC (ECOWAS) have sent a delegation to Niger to negotiate with coup leaders. Defense chiefs for the regional block have met here in Abuja for an extraordinary military intervention citing it as a last resort. Now ECOWAS has imposed sanctions on Niger and says it can authorize the use of force if President Mohamed Bazoum is not reinstated.

(…) events that transpired in one of our countries has reverberated across our borders affecting us all; the recent coup d’etat in the Republic of Niger is one event that calls for our collective attention and a united response. We must face the challenges of restoring democratic governance in Niger head-on, drawn on our shared experiences, wisdom, and collective resolve.

• ENTER RANDOM GUY WITH SHIT MICROPHONE -

(…) if we cannot (goi?) a peaceful resolution (soufredite?) that is our preferred option. But, we have to prepare for all eventualities. …and, excellencies, you are here for the final eventuality: that last resort that (replandie?) for a possible intervention to restore constitutional order.

HOST

To help make sense of all that, I am joined by an international security analyst who’s a Certified Anti-Terrorism Specialist (Derin’s note: the fuck does this mean, what are you people smoking?) and is, uh, the African representative (dn: ooh) of the Global Anti-Terrorism Accreditation Board (dn: the fuck is this? Are you talking about this site? https://atabinfo.com/ They literally have call of duty screenshots on their home page holy fucking shit are you people serious?) David Otto (dn: marked as “self-employed” on Linkedin, check him out for yourself: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidottoendeley/ ). Good to see you David and thanks for your time.

David (serious guy): Thank you.

Host: Well, not a good time for many, uh living in the subcontinent asking what exactly is happening when you hear ECOWAS it reminds you of quite a number of things (dn: …okay?) but quickly make sense of what has happened at the moment - uh - 15 countries within ECOWAS - uh - 5 already - on the military rule, and 10 meeting here in Abuja.

David: Well, I think we’re experiencing a coup pandemic.

Host: A coup pandemic?

David: Yes, and this is one of the reasons (dn: what are the other reasons, david? Why is this a reason?) ECOWAS has to do those two things. One: it has to institute a ‘practive’ (sic) preventative measure - um - and then it has to be had, you know, in terms of how it approaches - um - countries that are experiencing a coup. What is happening in the region will further destabilize the entire West, but also Central, African region if nothing is done. What we’ve seen, effectively, is that - you know - countries that have been - you know, um - run by - you know, um - military juntas - for example Mali, Burkina Faso, Guinea - they tend to support countries uh so um juntas that are imagined (sic) which sends a very strong message that - um - you know that anyone who wants to carry out a military coup should expect support from those who have been successful. So I think this is the position that ECOWAS has been faced with.

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Dude, I’m 25% of the way through your first video and the shit is literally unintelligible. No points are being made, people are trying to come off as serious while using language a fourth grader would use while trying to LARP as a UN official.

David, m’boy, goes on to talk about ECOWAS’ ultimatum, what happens if ECOWAS will send troops to Niger, and a bunch of word salad bullshit around coups.

The entire video means nothing, says nothing, and does not - in any way - provide justification for your initial point about the president’s status as an allegedly undemocratically elected president.

But thanks for wasting my time, schmuck.

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(CONTINUED IN COMMENT BELOW)

Edit: Edited for formatting.