My first thought was OP is dismissive avoidant. It’s the no-overlap Venn diagram of, “I want to be close enough to be loved, but not close enough to be hurt.” OP: go take one of the attachment style tests online. There’s a lot of good stuff that might help you get out of this Catch 22. Who knows, though? There is scant information.

OP: do you find yourself resenting your partner? Wishing they’d get out of your space/stop bugging you with their needs?