Shitty Life Pro Tip

!shittylifeprotips@lemmy.world

Established1 year ago

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38

SLPT: No wine glass? Jam a bundle of uncooked spaghetti into the bottle.

posted 1 month ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

8 commentshide report

91

If you're constipated and happen to have a vagina, you can press the back wall of your vagina with your thumb and squeeze the poop out like squeezing a tube of toothpaste.

posted 2 months ago

by

Apytele@sh.itjust.works

28 commentshide report

1

SLPT: You can make like 30-50% of your social circle think you're psychic (or just weirdly smart) by asking them to think of a number 1-10 and asking if it's 7.

posted 5 months ago

*

by

Apytele@sh.itjust.works

1 commentshide report

2

SLPT: Believe in karma? Leave your torrents seeding for idle good karma.

posted 6 months ago

by

alyth@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

2

SLPT: Before taking what you think is the biggest shit of your life in the restroom of someone you barely know, make yourself a favor and flush the toilet once to make sure it is functional.

posted 8 months ago

*

by

platypus_plumba@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

2

SLPT: If you’re struggling with the cost of living and want to save on transport costs, try watering down your gas a little to help get some extra miles out of each tank

posted 8 months ago

by

SuckMyWang@lemmy.world

1 commentshide report

2

SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.

posted 8 months ago

by

key@lemmy.keychat.org

0 commentshide report

3

SLPT: A spool of network cable can hold 1GB of internet traffic per meter. Leave one plugged in to save up internet for when the power goes out.

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

1 commentshide report

1

SLPT: Cats don't understand human speech, but they all read Farsi due to genetics. Use this to communicate with and train your cat.

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

5 commentshide report

1

SLPT: Stage a horrific death scene caused by a conventional household appliance. This will enable you to sue the manufacturers for millions of dollars for causing your death!(lemmy.keychat.org)

posted 1 year ago

by

key@lemmy.keychat.org

0 commentshide report

1

SLPT: Got student loans? Make you loan servicer password extremely easy to guess, that way whoever logs in will pay your loans off

posted 1 year ago

by

Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

1

SLPT: If you dont feel like wearing pants, you can carry your phone around in that little front underwear pocket* (*male only)

posted 1 year ago

by

kriz@slrpnk.net

2 commentshide report

0

SLPT: Experience world travel without needing to get off your couch by buying travel miles from your favorite airline!

posted 1 year ago

by

key@lemmy.keychat.org

0 commentshide report

2

SLPT: Get an apartment near the hospital. Now you can get a free ride home whenever by faking an injury.

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

2 commentshide report

1

SLPT : Problem solving flowchart(lemmy.world)

posted 1 year ago

by

A_A@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

1

SLPT: Striking out on tinder? Use AI to make you look attractive and give you the profile of someone with an actual personality.

posted 1 year ago

by

key@lemmy.keychat.org

0 commentshide report

1

SLPT: Tired of taking the bus to work? Become a bus driver! Now you get to DRIVE the bus!

posted 1 year ago

by

kriz@slrpnk.net

4 commentshide report

1

SLPT: If you manage to fit yourself into the overhead cabin, airlines will let you fly for free

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

1

SLPT: If you feel nervous in social situations, try open carry. Now everyone else is more nervous than you are.

posted 1 year ago

by

kriz@slrpnk.net

12 commentshide report

1

SLPT If you want to help the working class, defend all politians as much as you can even when they go against everything you once fought for, that is how we get power(archive.today)

posted 1 year ago

by

jimmydoreisalefty@lemmus.org

1 commentshide report

1

SLPT When holding a presentation, laugh out loud every few sentences. This creates a fun and relaxing atmosphere that captivates your audience.

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

0

SLPT putting a student driver sticker on your car will get you out of all tickets. The police will be more understanding a let you off with a warning every time.

posted 1 year ago

by

killer_penguin@lemmy.worldM

1 commentshide report

2

SLPT: Driving in the dark and want to save on headlights? Navigate via echolocation with the car horn.

posted 1 year ago

by

Deestan@lemmy.world

2 commentshide report

1

SLPT: When grocery shopping, if you see something you were going to buy in a person's cart, feel free to take it. It’s not stealing because the other person doesn’t own it until they pay for the item.

posted 1 year ago

*

by

killer_penguin@lemmy.worldM

1 commentshide report

1

SLPT When picking friends, ask them what pants size they wear. If you ever shit your pants; you can swap pants with them.

posted 1 year ago

by

GAMER@lemmy.world

0 commentshide report

Shitty Life Pro Tip

!shittylifeprotips@lemmy.world

!shittylifeprotips

Welcome,

To a place for the shittiest, most mocking “pro-tips” you can think of. This Community is welcome to anything shitty pro-tip related, such as memes, discussing the best shitty tip, and much more.

RULES

1_Don’t spam, post must be related to community topic

2_Do not seek mental, medical or professional help here. This is not the place, community is meant for satire.

3_No tip should be taken serious

4_No tip should single out a person

5_No racism, harassing, or discriminating against any group or any of the communities members. This will get you banned immediately.

6_Tip posts must start with SLPT

7_For posts related to SLPTs, but not a tip please use “[META]” tag

8_Self promotion will get you banned

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