mhmmm
Still not sure if my comment will be federated (server-issues in our instance), but I like typing it out anyway…
I have received the results of my ADHD evaluation, and while I seem to have largely the same every-day difficulties as someone with ADHD, I do not have the “right” pattern of neuropsychological limitations and childhood symptoms, so I don’t get the diagnosis. Also because I have an underlying genetical condition which might better explain the difficulties which are there, but we don’t really know, because there’s not enough studies (cohort too small).
On one hand that’s nice - I know they are being thorough, and it’s more important for me to know the “truth” (as far as that word carries in the field of diagnostics) than receive a label and care that are not quite right for me.
On the other hand I still have those difficulties, and the idea of having a clear-cut avenue of taking care of them at the root (i.e. with medication) sounded promising, and would’ve been validating after a lifetime of “You just don’t try hard enough”-messaging I received.
My therapist and I will go from here, still addressing the clearly present executive function deficits with exercises and if that isn’t enough, maybe see if I can get presented to a colleague as interesting case study to try out medication anyway, but it’s pretty muddled and unsure, and I would’ve liked clarity more than anything.
(At least I have already ascertained a couple of weeks ago that I get to stay in this place, even without the label. Thank you all for that :) )
I’m not sure my comment will be federated (server issues, apparently), but I wanna write it down anyway…
Before christmas, my therapist revealed towards the end of session that she had received my ADHD test results, but since we had other, more pressing stuff to go over in that session, she decided to not open them then and only disclosed that she had them for transparency reasons (which I appreciate a lot).
However, tomorrow is the next session, so we are likely to discuss it. I’m very torn on what outcome I should or can expect and what effect either will have on me, so I’m desperately curious and slightly terrified all at once…
The only thing I can keep telling myself is that it doesn’t really matter, since my main task will still be to find ways to manage life with the brain I have, and move towards self-acceptance, but DAMN, a clear idea of what way to go would be very helpful for that task.
I just want to declare my intention to chill the fuck out until the new year!
Currently on the sofa, sipping coffee, alternatingly reading a book and browsing lemmy. Might get up and have a shower later, and that concludes today’s business. I am pleased.
I hope you’re doing well now after your Covid bout! I had one in early December, and while it was mild, I still don’t feel quite right…
Which sucks, especially because it’s the home stretch for Christmas now, and due to being sick (and generalized procrastination) I did NOT have enough time to get stuff done. Right now, there’s a small heap of half-wrapped presents looking at me, and a wholly unpacked suit case for travelling to home town tomorrow. I just can’t make myself do it right now. Thank god we’re not hosting.
Also, my partner is barely able to function during December due to Christmas-related family trauma resurfacing, and while it’s getting better each year, nearly all of the emotional (and actual) christmas-related labour falls to me, while trying my best to be there for them. And also for myself, since I’m not doing so well this year, either.
But I also know that it’s gonna be fine and relaxed and nice as soon as we’ve arrived. There are fun activities planned, and plenty of down-time and meeting with old friends, and I’m really looking forward to it. Just need to get over the last hurdles in a mad dash.
Also, it’s winter solstice tomorrow, so additionally, sunlight-and-thus-seasonal-depression-wise, better days are ahead!
There’s a difference between signalling the brain to release its own dopamine and taking external dopamine. (Important note: All of this is a simplification, I am not an expert!)
The first could be done with drugs (legal and illegal) or other dopamine-stimulating activities with instant rewards, and it absolutely has the ability to change our reasoning (like “Oh yeah, I’ll definitely feel better if I sit motionlessly for hours scrolling memes I don’t even find that funny, and should not, as logic and knowledge dictates, maybe go outside and move my body a little, because that won’t feel as good (doesn’t release as much dopamine)”). So here, the answer is yes, totally. Which is why for example ADHD medication tries to effect an easier release of dopamine to make it easier on the brain-carrier to make different choices, away from instant reward towards delayed gratification.
For the second thing - dopamine’s precursor, L-Dopa, is the straightest way to actually add more dopamine to the brain (since dopamine itself can not pass the blood-brain-barrier, but L-dopa can and is then synthesized into dopamine), which is done in Parkinson’s patients and helps them tremendously. Interestingly however, if you overdose it, you can fall into a drug-induced psychosis, a state in which one could argue that logic and reasoning are indeed affected, so that’s another yes, but not in the way you mean, I think.
In conclusion, brain neurotransmitter chemistry is pretty complicated, but interesting, and the answer to the question if changing something about it will lead to different ways of thinking is very often yes, which is why medicine is doing it :)
I wanted to let you know that your story resonated deeply with me. We had a similar family dynamic in parts (esp. the teaming up by apparent neurotypes), only nobody is officially diagnosed (I’m still waiting for results), which made it even harder to make sense of for a long time. So I feel for you!
During my university years especially, I also struggled heavily with keeping up with household stuff, which made me quite the unpopular flat mate… it’s a huge source of shame for me, and still affects me to this day (though I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better).
Thank you for sharing, even if it is uncomfortable, it made me feel less alone with these experiences - so please don’t feel like you have to apologize :)
Anyone else? Yes.
(Thanks for the reminder! :D)
This week as well as last week, I am still waiting for my diagnostic report to tell me if I have ADHD or not - the sessions were in September. The wait time has been announced, but I am still impatient, which is kinda fitting, I guess… While it is clear to me, my therapist and the diagnostician that I likely have some kind of neurodivergence, it’s not quite clear if ADHD is the ticket. Which also makes sense - if it was super-obvious, somebody would have noticed before my thirties, I hope. I guess I’ll know soon enough.
Either way, I still find the ADHD communities such as this one very, very relatable, so if it’s alright, I’ll just stay on even if I didn’t meet the diagnostic criteria. :)
4-5 / 0-1 / 4-5 / 0-1, repeated for at least 1 minute, better 5 minutes or more. (not too deep or light-headedness can happen)
This is resonance frequency breathing (at round about 0,1 Hz) which maximizes heart rate variability and activates the baroreflex (blood pressure). It’s usually used with a HRV biofeedback device to find the best individual breathing frequency, but it’s not strictly necessary. Just find the speed around these marks that feels good (without feeling like you’re out of breath or getting dizzy). Breath into your belly.
There’s tons of studies for its effects, but mostly it activates your vagal control, and thus tones down anxiety, can help with depression and PTSD symptoms when done regularly, and also helps with high blood pressure, can make recovery after heart surgery easier, is used in professional sports, may help with IBS etc. Look for papers on “HRV biofeedback effects”, if you’re interested.
The most immediate effect I personally have is feeling both more relaxed and more alert, similar to after meditation.
I’ve been using ChatGPT to find inspiration for greeting cards (for birthday, wedding etc.) for people I don’t know that well.