hazeebabee
I really enjoyed that! I think the first section was the strongest to me personally – it was more grounded in real events, while some of the other sections lost some of their power by becomming too abstract. I did enjoy the aspect of different interconnected characters setting up eachothers stories.
I went ahead and shared it in my solarpunk bookclub, hopefully some more people will give it a read through!
Also it might be worth crossposting to a solarpunk community, it really fits the vibe :)
Glad you made it over to slrpnk :)
I love that youre creating a story based around spreading fediverse principles.
I do think the lore works really well in your story. Fungus as an alternative mode of functioning works well in the setting you created for the story & parallels alternative communities like lemmy or irl collectives.
Maybe expanding some of the sections could help with grounding some of more abstract areas and would give more space for exposition to make the work more approachable for mainstream readers.
More specifically, fungus as a metaphor for how a decentralized network functions is great. All nodes are connected through clusters/communities, allowing information to be passed, but also allowing groups to remain somewhat separate. You can even have kicking out certain people from the hive mind as a parallel to blocking certain malicious users.
Or it could be a purposful cutting of the mycelial connection that binds them to the group? Same with cutting connections to a specific cluster that us deemed toxic or unsafe. Like maybe one town starts having literally everyone join the fungiverse, and other clusters have to come together to dissolve the connection to keep their own minds from being overrun?
Maybe you could have the druid character get kind of a introduction the the fungiverse after they eat the mushroom? Maybe their panicking, and a wise character sees it and brings them into the fold. It could even be the fungus chick who becomes the druids companion. Then it doesnt feel so exposition heavy, but still clues the reader into whats going on.
Also: if you want specific feedback, id be happy to annotate a copy of the story or something for you.
Edited to add: i would leave the metaphore to the fediverse as unspoken-- i think the allegory works well and directly stating that it is like this real world thing would break some of the magic & lessen the potential for the allegory to work on multiple levels.
I was thinking the wise person wasnt necessary to join the fungiverse, more so that they explained some things. Like they arent necessary, just helpful. Just like how often people new to the fediverse need some help from existing members to get tips and information about it that they might not quite grasp at first.
Good luck on the edits! Im excited to read the next draft when its ready :)
If youre interested theres a slrpnk book club run through discord: https://discord.com/invite/KPE9mHQD
We just got done reading sloarpunk summers and are going to get started on a new book this week. Meetings are through voice chat in the discord group on sundays
