As someone who’s been in a similar position… you can’t. I was extremely isolated and ‘homeschooled’ throughout my formative years. It appears to me that the feeling of alienation from peers is something most homeschooled children feel, and it doesn’t seem to go away. Crushing depression and anxiety resulted in a type of self-isolation in my latter years, which my dysfunctional parents enabled to an irresponsible degree.

The knee-jerk response seems to be “seek therapy” or inane platitudes like “you can live life now!”. They feel invalidating and trivialize our issues. On one hand it’s understandable. Unless you’ve been through this sort of abuse it’s probably impossible to accurately imagine its effects. On the other hand it’s just really sad and frustrating.

We’re missing a critical foundation. I don’t know if that can be restored. Personally, I don’t think it can. I’ll tell you the things I thought might help, but I failed at: try to get an education and qualifications, as you’ll have to work and these result in better opportunities. Try and socialize as much as you can. It will be difficult, and it will likely remain difficult, but you’ll likely get better at masking with enough practice. Talk to therapists that specialize in CPTSD maybe. I don’t really know… I’m struggling in similar circumstances, and I really haven’t found anything that helps.

I like your questions blues. I feel we have come from similar backgrounds. I’ve just passed the 20s, and my life has been not worth it. I’d be relieved to die any day (or to have died at any point prior). My parents were abusive, my extended family were dysfunctional, and my childhood was isolation incarnate. I think this question’s heading is life, although it skirts around that. Suicide is painful. If anyone manages to commit then that’s the right time for them. It really is not something one can just “choose”. It’s not a choice.

I don’t think material conditions play much into this decision, though when articulated it may appear they do. “I don’t have friends,” “I don’t have a car”, “I don’t have a non-degrading job”, “I don’t have a house”, etc. It’s a feeling. One could have everything they thought they craved and still feel miserable and despondent. One could have nothing and be in high spirits. I don’t think anyone knows how to control emotions enough that they’re able to guide someone to a social ‘norm’. I’d suggest engaging with doctors though, and that ranges through to the general practitioner to the specialized psychiatrist, and all those professions in between.

History abounds with morose writings. It’s not a new question, and I don’t think it’ll ever have a definitive answer. Just keep trying different things, and keep talking to others as much as you can, because whilst an individual might not have a definitive answer you usually can find something with enough data.

I’ll state this: I know of this person in name only.

He’s a hypocrite. It’s as simple as that. His popularity is probably derived from the novelty of a member of the upper class agreeing with the lower classes and his ability to entertain them. It gives those that belong to the lower class hope of change being enacted by those with capital. The Wikipedia page states he brought a $2.7 million USD mansion. He has access to capital, and what does he do? Asks others to donate to ‘worthy’ causes whilst accruing more capital for his own vested, personal vanity projects?

From what I’ve read he is not an ally. He’s an entertainer. The capitalist system is able to create products that espouse anti-capitalist ideas. This is just another such product. It’s not controlled opposition. It’s just an individual who’s found himself the owner of a sought after product. Just another capitalist.

Matrix is a mossad-sponsored operation to get ahead of the curve in the technocrats pursuit of universal computer-encryption. The encryption it provides is worthless, as the current art of signals intelligence is not reliant on the content of the message but the metadata, of which Matrix has purposefully designed a system to be fully open to any technically-proficient inspector.

It’s difficult to convey the subtlety of the deception here. “An open network for secure, decentralized communication.” This is a true statement. It’s in the surveillance community’s interest to deploy a form of encrypted communication that only they are efficient at exploiting. Computer networks are complicated, and there’s much that is not obvious because it’s software–something invisible to all users.

Matrix is not a step in the right direction. The protocol (regardless of the state of encryption) is fundamentally flawed. Do not advocate its use. It’s a stalling tactic.

Gnunet is a step in the right direction.

I’ll like to posit this question: what is more incredible? To enter a query into a computer system and retrieve digital images of life in a context that relates to that query, or to enter a query into a computer system and retrieve garbage? ChatGPT is an abomination. It’s an obscene waste of resources for entertainment and the capitalist’s pursuit of profits to the detriment of everyone else. Its operation relies plundering and privatizing the digital “commons” whilst ignoring any civil contract that might impede an individuals right to steal and profit from stolen products. Do not use ChatGPT.

Tor. Or use gnunet’s ‘vpn’ function with friends in other countries.

I’d say this: state’s aren’t looking for content. They’re looking for behavior. Social-graphs and related metadata is far more revealing than reading the contents of messages. For targeted espionage by human analysts matrix has a nice function to replicate database silently to a third-party (without the user’s knowledge). Though that’s not really needed (end-points are wide open and vulnerable), but it’s there as a core of the protocol.

Again, encryption works at obfuscating the message. Mass surveillance at a state level doesn’t use the contents, but has developed other methods. The contents themselves are irrelevant. The man-power to create a surveillance regime on content makes it infeasible.

My sentiment does not change. That’s akin to pocket change if he makes around $200,000 USD a month on twitch…

Consumption of luxury products and the defense of them is not something I support. Buying a mansion is antithetical to my views on socialism. An acceptable use of a mansion is to tear it down and build affordable apartments for the working people. Even then that’d be suspect, as you’d be able to build more dwellings on cheaper land… It would be more of a publicity stunt than an acceptable use of capital.

This character might say “the right things” but he does not do them. Why is he even working for Amazon? He could be streaming on peertube or build infrastructure to stream without binding himself to such an exploitative company.

He’s human. It’s not easy say the right things and do the right things. I don’t give it much thought. He’s not of interest to me, but I think it’s quite obvious why communists might not like him.