Trubble
Cr.cr.cr.reEEpy and the WEiRdO!!! (Booming radio voice…) next up on KKKRR your favorite racist radio channel!!
Oh absolutely! That thought tag may be a hangover from everyone giving me reasons I “must” have kids, or I “will change my mind” about having kids “wait till you find the right guy”. It seemed to break people’s minds that a midwest small-town girl wouldn’t want kids (same good christian folks who were also terrified I might have sex and get knocked up). It always appalled me when the conversation would take that “who’s gonna take care of you when your old” turn. I have a good relationship with my folks now, I hope I can care for them to the best of my ability as they are getting up there. May not have always felt about them that way though, took some work. I can’t hardly tale care of myself still though, and it worries me how much I Will be able to do, financially, time, etc. So yeah, came to terms with the idea of me being in a state home in general. But, having dementia or alzheimer’s in that situation, to me, is terrifying. Being 100% at the whim of a stranger and unable to express any real needs or thoughts. I love to read, puzzle, learn and play games, learn new shit in general, recognize actors by voice in under a 30 secs… y’know brain stuff, lol. Just knowing it would be gone is sad and scary.
Right? It didn’t help me! Growing old, then having dementia or alzheimer’s but still alive and thinking I’m thinking, has already been a fear of mine. Especially always knowing I would never have kids, thus no chance of anyone to be around to help, besides strangers. And, probably at whatever gov. med. level of care, as I cannot ever seem to make any real progress in bettering our financial situation. But, I’d rather be aware of it than ignorant to it.