My grandpa talked about doing this back in the 1930s with his brothers, and by that I mean, they put their neighbor’s cow on top of their barn, somehow. I think this is one of those things that, in one form or another, has always existed and always will.

I was gonna say, I haven’t used Windows in years.

In every way that can possibly be interpreted, yes.

The markings remind me a lot of my girl. I’m not sure if I’d call my girl polite, lol.

People are gonna pillory me for this, but flashlights.

First off, you want something that runs off two AAAs, regardless of price. If you can’t walk into any gas station, or any grocery store, or what have you, and buy batteries for your flashlight when it dies, it’s not gonna matter how bright it was before it died. You also don’t want anything brighter than ~200 lumens at the very most, unless you actually need one brighter, for some reason; they drain batteries way faster. You want something thin enough that you’re able to clip it inside your pocket and forget it’s there. You also want one that has an end switch that toggles between two modes: “full power” and “turned off.” If you have one that toggles between low and high settings, you will only use the high setting. If you have one that toggles between low and high settings, and strobe and SoS, you will only use the high setting. Every additional step in between “all the way off” and “all the way on” is just friction you don’t need, that will do nothing but piss you off every time you use the damned thing.

The features that make big, fancy flashlights expensive, are anti-features.

Imagine the male equivalent of the same exact ad: “My penis FINALLY smells healthy”…

You mean you’ve accepted that the cat is in charge and not the other way around, right? Because yeah, that is what usually happens.

Beautiful.

Oof. Yeah, I don’t use my computer for work, so I’d never even thought of that. That’s annoying.