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Sombyr

Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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4 posts • 25 comments

Your local bi(polar) schizo fluffernutter.

Previous profile under the same name over at lemmy.one

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As somebody in my mid twenties, I primarily date people in their 30s for this exact reason. I need somebody mature with their shit a little more figured out. Dating people my own age can be fun, but they don’t really have the maturity required to deal with somebody who’s gone through as much trauma and mental illness as I have.

Case in point, my longest lasting relationship with somebody within 5 years of my age was 1 month long. My shortest lasting relationship with somebody older than me by more than that was 2 years.

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This is me every single time somebody has been into me. To be fair though, the one time I didn’t over analyze and just went “Oh, I guess she likes me” it turned out she didn’t, she just really liked romance songs.
So yeah, people are just gonna have to deal with having to be very forward about their intentions with me.

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My mom does this. Can’t count how many times I’ve been looking for something only to be told by her “I didn’t touch it. I never touch your stuff. You must have lost it.” Only for 3 hours later her to find it and go “Oh right, I moved it here so it’d be easier for you to find it.”

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Huh. Most of my friends are in the older gen Z and younger millenial range and reaction GIFs are everywhere in every chat we have. I’m just about the only one who doesn’t use them, and it’s not because I find them cringy, they’re just not my style.

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Gen Z here. Your interpretation seems correct to me, but I’m also on the way older end of the generation.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s super common for millenials to hate on gen Z for stupid stuff the same way boomers do, but this thread is not an example of it. It’s just a bunch of people saying “do what you want, don’t need to be cool” and playful teasing.

Also, it might just be because I’m on the older end, but I haven’t even heard of anybody from my generation cringing at any of these things. Either there’s a bigger divide between older and younger than I thought, or we’re getting accidentally lumped in with gen alpha again.

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I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for my own experiences and report based on the things women I know have said. For me and those I’ve spoken to, we may like muscles, but the things you need to do to get those muscles often aren’t as attractive and cancel it out. Like, if you’re getting muscles by going to the gym every day, that’s only gonna attract women who are enthusiastic about the gym. If you get them from farm work, you’ll attract women enthusiastic about farm life.
That’s why a lot of us like dad bods so much. It’s not that it’s inherently more attractive, it’s that it’s a body type achievable by living the kind of life style people who’re into that enjoy.
In other words, yes, muscles can be attractive, but not nearly as attractive as shared hobbies and interests, and it just happens quite often muscles can be a quick indicator that you probably don’t share many.

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I had this problem with one I modded myself because the new screen was just slightly thicker than the old, pressing on the outer shell and causing the dpad to need more pressure. The solution that worked for me is cutting a small ring of cardstock and putting it between the dpad and the membrane. It increases sensitivity by a lot, but does come with the side effect that you’ll be able to press every direction down at once if you press on the center.

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1 point

Men being hurt by women is not an excuse for men to hurt women in return. It is possible for both groups to acknowledge they’ve been hurt by each other and work toward a solution. Pushing “they hurt me so they deserve to be hurt” helps nobody, especially when both groups are doing it.
That’s what I’m complaining about. This mindset that being hurt by men/women completely absolves you of the responsibility to allow them to feel safe. Any space dominated by women will be filled with “Well men are responsible for the majority of violence and sexual assault so actually you deserve to feel like shit.” every time a man speaks up. Any space dominated by men will be filled with “Well it makes me feel bad when you discuss the repercussions of your trauma so shut the fuck up.” every time a woman speaks up.
We can have a place where both genders can talk freely about the way these things effect them and the changes we need to make to fix them. The issue is people are only pretending to want such a space. What they really want is the other gender to sit down, shut up, and agree with them uncritically. Because in their head they’re definitely in the right and they’d rather not be confronted with alternate viewpoints from people who have lived experiences they’ll never have.

Worse, as a trans woman, you’d think people would be more willing to accept our viewpoints because trans people are some of few people who can have both lived experiences. But no, our experiences are only valid if they 100% allign with the men or women we share them with. Otherwise we’re brushed off like somehow our experience doesn’t count because we had the wrong experience to reaffirm their biases.
On Lemmy, dominated by men, when I say I fear women due to my lived childhood experience as a boy, being taken advantage of while I was still too young to fight back, I’m met with outpourings of support. People talk about why “this is why trans people’s life experience matters.” When I mention later in the same conversation that I also fear men due to my lived experience as a woman and not being able to fight back due the the hormonal muscle loss, suddenly, my experiences don’t count anymore. People think they get to pick and choose which of my experiences were valid and valuable and which aren’t based on whatever reaffirms what they already believe. And of course you can bet the exact same thing happens the other way around when I tell the same story to women.

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0 points

How about you miss the entire point and get aggressive for no reason?
Seriously, what kind of response to “I’ve been traumatized by men” is “you should traumatized by bears too?”

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