Screamium

Grandpa! It’s me, I’m your grandson from the future! I had to use the time machine and see for myself that you really did witness this momentous moment in human history!

Rotating house!

Oh trust me, I don’t need the extra awkwardness!

Chef: (Still holding towel after wiping 13 shrimp tail shells off his face) Back again?!

Me: (Awkwardly hovering in the doorway) Yeah sorry, I was going back and forth on this but I found a shell piece all by itself with no shrimp in it and while I have no reason to put it in my mouth I figured I needed to show conviction to impress my date so… PATOOIE

Am I eating in the restaurant kitchen or walking back there each time I bite a tail?

He’s parroting good points he hears used against him.

“You don’t have a plan”

“That’s a lie”

All mammals are the same thing, just carbon life forms

Also, thoughts and prayers to the families affected

Ahoy! It’s pawpaw season!

Who?

Just know that complete self sufficiency is a pipe dream, whereas community sufficiency is much more achievable