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MiddleWeigh

MiddleWeigh@lemmy.world
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Links to Twitter. Never had an acct, the site is horrid, and I will not go.

Realistically, everything we dislike on reddit is pretty much unavoidable once there is a certain number of people, outside of being ran by some capitalist shills, hopefully

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Schools here are mostly just there to get you used to jail or a shitty job that makes you hate yourself. Institutionalization.

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Ngl, I have no idea what I’m doing, and I am absolutely afraid to be in a position of any type of perceived power. Here’s to figuring it out!

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I hard agree.

In fact, I’m finding that NOT focusing on these small interests, is largely more enjoyable of an experience.

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I just visited reddit for the first time in a week and it feels gross 😝

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Yes. The whole experience has been really eye opening.

And the crazy thing is, if they wanna put you away, they will. If you don’t have money, forget it. Your sitting in jail while your court ordered attorney has lunch with the judge and ignores you calls.

I’ve seen people sit on 500 bail. All you need is 10% to get out. Until the time has passed where they get either bail reduction or non monetary bail where its lowered to 1$ after like 6 months I think.

I saw people sit on total bs charges and they just sit in there trying to clear their name, with a lawyer who doesn’t work for them, the court just kicking cam down the road 1 month at a time.

So you sign the plea because who wants to sit I’m jail?

As far as the police interaction…even if I didn’t do anything, they can write up whatever report they want. Policing is super subjective.

“OH well he was acting funny so I searched the car”

What does that even mean? Then you get a whole written report of shit that never happened, all corroborated by fellow officers and the judge…and they all get money for each bed they fill in the jail.

I live in a complied consent state. They can take you in to draw blood at any point. If you deny, license suspension. If you comply, well chances are for many, that you smoked some tree within in 30 days, in which case your getting a DUI.

Everytime I drive by a cop car, with license plate scanner, I’m shaking. If it catches my plate a red flag pops on their screen with all my charges. Depending where your at, your getting followed and intimidated at least.

And I’m a cis white male… I couldn’t even begin to imagine being considered an “other”. It’s beginning to be more of a rich v poor thing though for sure. It’s just very surreal the depths of the depravity that are buried in people. Myself included.

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Great question.

I think I was sort of selfish and removed. I still am, as humans are want to do but,

I think I have gained more compassion for the plight of man.

We are in an endless battle with our very own nature every step of the way.

I can find redeemable qualities in everyone. If not redeemable, at least an understanding of how a person became what they are.

We are imperfect beings. Our biology is simultaneously a feat of wonder while being super janky, and that is becoming more apparent to me the more I experience the modern world, and our ineptitude at dealing with our current situations as a species.

I find myself far more politically inclined these days. I always knew the justice system was messed up. But first hand experience of it has really driven home just how inhumane it is. It is systematic purge, with windows dressing. It is, at its foundation, human sacrifice, for lack of a better term.

I watched share holders inspect a jail from a cell. Surreal. I’ve watched genuinely mentally ill people stew in their own filth, literally and figuratively, losing any hope at ever being whole again. Lives are lost. Human experience squandered. I’ve watched the strong prey on the weak over and over again, to where I now understand that people have suffered a long time, and will be suffering long after I’m dead.

All I can do is try, in my day to day, and maybe one day in the future, we will break through to the other side, evolutionarily speaking, to a world where we care for one another, and, most importantly, where we feel we, ourselves, are deserving of our OWN love.

I guess I’ve gained new perspective. I’m not a detail oriented person. I do best in broad strokes. And this is the best answer I can come up with for now. Hopefully one day I will know a lot more and answer this better.

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Great fkn question fr. Deserves a good a swer so I’ll try.

OK so on the tail end of my run I was stacking benzos on tip to fight my bleak utter nothing of a life. I kept a slip knot tied in my top drawer, knowing id never use it, just to remind me how much I apparently loove suffering.

I’ve always been an extremely spiritual being. Not religious. Just whole. Or I thought I was. But the things I knew and understood, I never put them into practice. I was using.

That whole time I was training myself to deal with trauma, adversity this that the third, so but the time I got clean I had a whole entire blue print for how to live.

It was literally a light switch going on.

I remember the day quite vividly. I was in jail on mail intake, it was a coupke weeks in, i was through the worst. A little skin crawly but No seizures. Nothing. I made a cup of Ramen noodles and tuna pouch with this older gangbanger turned family man from PR who threw in some cool ranch doritos, and a homeless kid who presented himself as literally Jesus christ.

I swear I never had so much fun in my life as I did in jail.

I realized long ago that happiness is a choice. It’s just a perspective. You have to want to be happy. To cultivate that. Cause life only means what you want it to, and our brains are pliable. You can rewire your brain. Those old dead power lines will always be there, but you can run new ones.

The brain and life itself are really quite remarkable. That is my perspective now. I’m just being.

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My s.o. has been waiting for this 🙌

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Oh snap! I’m gonna keep a laminated lemmy conversation chart on my at all times (:

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