The Expanse series has Naomi Nagata, Avasarala, Bobbie Draper, and Drummer (among others)

The Revelation Space trilogy by Alastair Reynolds has the badass Ilia Volyova (cyborg space pirate; it makes sense in context lol) as a main character (not primary protagonist though) in the first two books and Ana Khouri (ex-military/assassin) is the primary protagonist in the second two (and major character in the first).

Some of Reynolds’s other works also have strong female protagonists as well (e.g. Pushing Ice and the whole Revenger series). House of Suns is one of my favorites, and there are two protagonists, male and female, and have equal spotlight throughout.

Both of those are hard sci-fi, so hopefully that’s your jam.

Pretty much anything by Cherie Priest, the Clockwork Century books are great!

Try out the Wayfarer’s series! Becky Chambers is amazing. Her books are wholesome and character focused, and give you a great feel of what it would be like living in that setting.

I also really like Brandon Sanderson’s Cytoverse. It’s a fantastic adventure that will keep surpsing you, but it is YA, so be ready for a little silliness.

The Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. Think Neon Genesis Evangelion X Female Rage X Chinese History. It’s by no means a perfect book, but it’s entertaining, the premise is very interesting and the character work is quite good!

Well my first recommendation was going to be Ancillary Justice, but there’s also Artemis by Andy Weir! It’s been a minute since I’ve read it but I don’t immediately recall it snacking of a “men writing women” feel.

Edit: Not super SciFi, but like steampunk fantasy maybe… Another option might be Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.

Second Edit: Whatever you do DONT read Hyperion. Oof that one was one of the most ridiculous examples of “men writing women” I have read, although he notably grew as the series progressed.